Gustav Bertram admits to being a robot

27Sep08

Gustav Bertram in 2045

In an unsurprising twist, open source activist, Gustav Bertram has admitted that he is in fact a cyborg.

“This isn’t that big a surprise to us in the community” said Web 2.0 demi-god Mike Stopforth. “We all knew he had no sense of humour and I guess it only makes sense that he is actually a robot”.

When Beat Magazine interviewed Bertram, he candidly admitted to being a robot from the year 2045 sent back in time to protect someone who goes by the name “Cohn Jonner”. Unfortunately his robot overlords set the time backwards to 2002 rather than 2020 proving that artificial intelligence still has a long way to go even in the year 2045.

“I had a lot of time to kill and since I’m a robot all I knew what to do was program.” Said Bertram in an exclusive chat with Beat.

Bertram describes his passions as long walks on the beach and Pina Colada’s. “I even had to program a drunk protocol for myself so I could fit in with people on the beach drinking Pina Colada’s” said Bertram.

Asked whether he was the root of every computer related virus in the world Bertram blushed a beetroot colour and was heard to have said that this was an unfortunate side effect of a coupling with a “robot of ill repute” back in the year 2045. Unfortunately, despite being a robot, Gustav has needs and had a particularly saucy session with a Dell laptop back in 2004 which then spread the nasty disease through the Internet.

The good news about this evil super virus from the future is for Apple users. Gustav has a distaste for Apple PC’s and “wouldn’t touch them with a ten foot stiffy disk” so Apple users are safe…. for now

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Tags: Apple, Gustav Bertram